Thursday, March 8, 2012

The long awaited return to my thoughts;

I have had many failures and triumphs since my last words here. Full fat expectancy, hollow painful loss. I have made choices for my health, which found itself in danger, and am currently experiencing an awakening sans hormones or any medication aside from caffeine. These changes, along with the decision to eliminate toxic people and thoughts have truly gripped me. Long gone is the Jordan in fear of change, the girl who stayed within the cycle. Through a series of confrontations I have faced the monsters and bid them well on their exile from my life.

I find myself not completely alone, for my partner is at my side, our teeth bared. I hold threads of great friendships, unable to find the time to nurture them. Thus, I fail to comprehend or analyze the occurrences of my days with anyone other than myself…who merely puts events on a shelf. I must overcome this fear of trust, for not all friends wish to betray. There are those who inspire, those who accept, those who support.

Work, in both school and employment has been inevitable. A full semester of intellectual classes that truly challenge my system of thought. Middle Eastern Revolutions, Stage Lighting, Physical Movement, all cause unrest and frustration. I will however overcome. My midterms have passed with little to no issue, and I simply await instruction for the latter half of the semester. I look forward to my 10 day break from structured classes, gladly welcoming the ability to read a novel of my choice, re-arrange my home, and enjoy the choice to sleep endlessly.

I have had many projects in the works, my brain reeling with ideas and the need to manifest them physically. I series of collaborations must happen or I will go insane! I am curating a collection of vintage to once again list online. This has been a goal for close to a year and is finally in grasp. Gogi, the ever diligent partner will be selling motorcycle ephemera alongside my fabrics. I will update as the process continues.

As for recent creative outlets, I was able to work with my dear friends the designers of Ax + Apple jewelry for an editorial showcasing their newest line of magic. We allowed for full collaboration, leading to mixed mediums of both powder and ash, pyrite, white cotton, and black silks. I am so pleased with the results, thus:




Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My word, it had been too long! An entire semester spent working heart and soul on film, stage, and writing. I don't even recall what has taken place, for there have been so many events and occurrences and happenings to truly retain. I will update images with descriptions, so that I may remind myself of all the achievements.

To begin: an inspired shoot I designed last week;
An experimentation of soft and harsh, with light and texture;

Photographer: Kristen Wrzesniewski
Jewlery: Ax+Apple
Styling: Summer Lawson











I constantly feel like a changeling, a fledgling on the brink of discovery. I am in search of my purpose, my internal and external motivators. I change daily with mood, from harsh and exhausted to poised and well-kept. I feel as if I was able to touch briefly on my polar sides in this set, and wish to further explore the nature of my ratty, angered, and torn self, versus the elegant, velveteen, graceful tendencies.


Monday, September 12, 2011

A journey of reincarnation;


I have found myself on a bizzare and yet familiar path into my own soul. Inward we march, course after course of theatre, dance, economics. I find within my body the innards of both a coward and a performer, who amazing have begun to hold hands. My emotions topple, my brain sloshing to and fro, palms sweaty with insecurity. I volunteer for exercises, rear my head, hide in corners. I have been playing characters, working hours, and sleeping minutes away. Modern dance conditioning molds my form into a pliable and at once astute statue during Performance classes. Techniques given in Acting for the Camera flow at once into acting courses, allowing for ease and transpiration. I am the face of the mysterious French woman whom Fornesatti once idealized into the faceless being. Thus, here are my sides:











Wednesday, August 10, 2011

August wind;

I have already begun so many endeavors, and it is only the eleventh day of my birth month! Discovering within myself the voice which I have ignored for so long, I am beginning to feel unusual, individual. Obstacles overcome, I set out on new journeys. I am weening myself off of one form of income, and working towards another. I plan on steering my mind and energy in a much different direction this semester. The inner and superior woman within me is desperately seeking outlets. Leatherwork with my partner, crafting home furnishings, adventures in culinary excursions, and multiple jobs. My mind will race with film classes and continuing education in the arts. I am looking forward to seeing my favorite technical musicians from California, while also planning a trip out of town! I am cleansing, and while doing so, growing and incorporating inspiration like never before.

This fall will be an immense collision of both mind and soul, as I press onward toward a more rounded and self-actualized being. Wish me luck, for in the artifacts I have begun to collect, and the words I have written...I am finding myself.